If everyone were a type of cereal, what kind would you be? Thanks to the big wigs at Kelloggs, Quaker and General Mills, there are many varieties to choose from.
At first I wanted to be Lucky Charms, complete with delicious frosted oats and coloured marshmallows. Lucky the Leprechaun would be my guardian, devoting his life to make sure I was magically delicious. Kids would scream for me with outstretched arms from the grocery cart while Mom and Dad grabbed another box of All Bran.
Life as a box of Lucky Charms would be all about the glamour and the high from a shot of sugar. Like any good artificial trip, I wouldn’t last. I’d be cool with the younger set but let’s be honest I’d lack substance. My energy fading before noon, leaving my fans disillusioned and disappointed.
Perhaps oatmeal is the ticket, I wouldn’t be flashy but I would stick to your ribs with a nutritional zing only capable of a hearty bowl of oats. Besides oatmeal appeals to my Scottish heritage and it’s cheap. What a second does that mean I’m cheap? I’ll admit the Re-Use-It is my stomping ground and I drive a car cheaper than my computer.
You might be a Cocoa Cocoa Puff, crazy enough to enjoy life but teetering on the need for a straight jacket. You were born in the early 60s and your best friend is Sonny the Cuckoo Bird who goes “cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.” Life as Cocoa Cocoa Puffs is wild and you eventually became a slang term for a mixture of marijuana and cocaine. If you’re smart, you spent some time in rehab and everyone gets a kick out of your random drug flashbacks.
I suspect the road cyclists between Whistler and Pemberton live life as a bowl of Vector cereal. You are a meal replacement in a bowl with protein, carbohydrates and 22 vitamins and minerals. You’re a mixture of great tasting crunchy flakes and granola clusters. You complete Iron Man Triathlons in the blink of an eye. You’re extreme and you know it.
Froot Loops cereal is reserved for the adrenaline addicted Whistler Bike Park rider. Mild mannered tourists think you’re a little fruity after your tail whip in the Boneyard without a helmet. You’re made with corn, wheat and taste good with or without a splash of milk. You’re more expensive than oatmeal and don’t mind dropping a few thousand bucks on two wheeled transportation.
A balanced life is the catchword of modern culture. Oprah always talking about it and magazines are dedicated to it. It makes sense because Mini Wheats are pretty popular with the Feng-Shui, Vegan, and Yoga types. You’re a whole wheat biscuit with a frosted side, making you delicious and nutritious. In Red Neck terms, you’re a mullet – business up front and a party in the back.
I’m still not sure what type of cereal I am but I received a revelation of sorts after a poignant sermon at church. Instead of trying to slot everyone into a type of breakfast food, we should look beyond the cereal. It’s about seeing people as having value before making any judgments.
It’s easy to focus on someone’s Lucky Charms attitude or oatmeal nature instead of trying to discover inner qualities. I don’t really like the taste of some cereal but breakfast food serves a purpose. That’s my challenge; maybe we should start seeing people as inherently valuable and full of purpose. Who cares if you’re a wicked mountain biker or a skier anyway?
You don’t have to be a Mini Wheat, just be yourself and rejoice because you are valuable my friend.
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